- Two words: Tater Tots.
- Dipped in ketchup.
- For Breakfast.
- Accidentally pass gas in company? No problem. Turn to the toddler and ask, “Do you need to go potty?”
- Newborn in arms = legitimate reason to do nothing but watch kung-fu, sci-fi or fall asleep.
- When your childless friends bellyache about how busy they are, it feels good to get all nostalgic and reminisce about the pre-kid days when you had enough time to complain about not having enough time.
- The joy of hearing Barney sing “I love you. You love me.” at 3 in the morning when you accidentally step on the purple maurader lying in the hallway.
- Your appreciation of a full night’s sleep will border on euphoric rapture.
- After eating cereal on the couch while watching Saturday morning cartoons (and waxing about how much better they were when you were young), you can sit on the floor and build with blocks and legos for hours.
- The opportunity to pull out the Star Wars toys you’ve been hording since 1984 and tell your spouse, “See, aren’t you glad I’ve been keeping these around?”
- It feels really good knowing that the tantrum your toddler threw at the mall is widely considered the most effective form of birth-control education for adolescents.
- Nothing beats the feeling the first time your newborn smiles at you on purpose.
- Except, perhaps for the day your toddler turns to you, unprompted, and says “I love you.”
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