Pros & Cons of Summertime Daddy Day Care

One benefit of being a teacher: summers.  For the young and childless it is a magical, carefree time. For a teacher who’s also a parent, it’s something different.  It is a break from wiping other kids’ noses in order to wipe your kids’.

For men spending their first summer or two with the little dictators, there is a steep learning curve. Below is a part 1 of the Daddy Day Care Primer: The Pros & Cons.

Pros

1. You’ve earned a guys-night-out pretty much whenever you want it.
2. You understand the profound joy a dog feels when someone else comes home at the end of the day. “Hallelujah! You’re here!”
3. Movies. Midday. Midweek.
4. Afternoon naps.
5. Getting the “Aww-What-a-Good-Dad” look from the grandma set while grocery shopping.
6. Indoctrinating your kids as you see fit.  (“Daddy, can we turn off Tour de France and watch Dora?” “No, sweetheart. Sorry. Look, the polka dot jersey!”)
7. Constructing block cities and convincing your child to destroy it like Godzilla.
8. Texting pictures to friends & family at work. “Mmmm. This ice cream is GOOD! Sure beats working! ha-ha!”
9. The war stories are hilarious, in hindsight.
10. Pretending feats of parenting have olympic style difficulty ratings:

He’s going for the “Toddler-Stinky-in-a-Public-Bathroom-While-Holding-a-Slippery-Baby-Slathered-in-Sunscreen” maneuver.  Very high difficulty rating.

Cons

1. Diapers.
2. Spit-up.
3. Crying.
4. Whining.
5. The war stories can be brutal in real time.
6. Smelling yourself and realizing it’s been a week since your last shower.
7. Having to admit that stay at home moms have it pretty rough. (This is actually a “pro” for moms.)
8. Realizing that work may be easier, if for no other reason, than you can drive somewhere in peace & quiet.
9. Having to explain the bruise on the baby’s head.
10. Convincing yourself at 3 o’clock in the afternoon that it is not, in fact, 5 o’clock somewhere.

Both Images: Copyright Jason Flom Photography, 2010